Have you heard about Alfie? and his girlfriend Chantelle? and their new-born baby, Maisie? Well you probably have...except its not really the miracle of birth that stands out in this story, but instead the phenomenon of the British tabloid press. 

So why such a hoo-hah?...we know its possible...people around the world have for centuries been making babies and taking on greater responsibilities at ages younger than that at which a Brit is deemed old enough to consent to having sex. So, yes, Alfie looks like an older brother rather than a father to his daughter and yes it is shocking but its not a scientific discovery that at 13 years old some boys have hit puberty and some of these boys look remarkably young. And yes some teenagers want to have sex...we know this already.

And don’t let yourselves be fooled that this story made so many waves just to question the effectiveness of the millions of pounds that the government spends to fund sex education programs in schools. Because just one child being born to teenage parents isn’t enough infer anything about the British sex education programme, unless you have the analytical skills of a baby.

No...the real reason I think this story gained the momentum and interest it did is much more shameful. The UK after all seems to be a nation of readers of a whole myriad of gossip magazines...you could read a new gossip glossy every day of the week as there appears to be a bottomless pit of celebrities having a fat day/wearing bad shoes/showing their underwear for the press to exploit. And these slip-ups make us mere mortals feel just a little bit better about our own cellulite, break-ups or funny shaped noses. 

However, fashion choices are just fashion choices...they’re not really going to move the world (I’m sure Coco Channel is now turning in her grave). But baby Maisie isn’t a pair of shoes...she’s one day going to be old enough to realise her birth was covered by the press. And the main reason I see for her headlines is part of the trend within the british media to try and boost morale by bullying: making people feel good by comparing them to others.
So you might think you’re a bad dad cos your child has started smoking or isn’t the A* pupil you’d hoped for? But no!!! atleast you didn’t have a kid when you were 13 did you? So give yourself a pat on the back and go get yourself a cool beer to celebrate your successes.  So, your finances may be a mess? But no, alteast you didn’t ‘do an Alfie’ and respond to the question ‘What are you going to do financially?’ by asking ‘What’s financially?’. 

And to highlight how insensitive the extent of coverage has been then after a DNA test it turns out that Alfie isn’t actually Maisie’s father. And please please no Mr Iain Duncan Smith do not use this story as evidence that British society is broken and people are losing their moral compass: Infidelity isn’t anything new (didn’t Clinton prove that already?) and neither is underage sex.

So, Chantelle may have been more sexually promiscuous than Alfie thought, and of course thats not nice to Alfie’s feelings. But hey, smile! whatever mistakes you’ve made recently it can’t be as bad or outrageous as this can it?... But when Maisie grows up to realise that people made themselves feel better at her expense what sort of message will she get from the publicity surrounding her birth? That bullying is allowed? in both national and international media? And then if so, its probably allowed in her neighbourhood as well isn’t it? And it is for this reason that I think the media needs to practice what it preaches about anti-bullying messages and to get down from its disillusioned moral high-ground and use a little bit of sensitivity in its coverage rather than just continue to feed the insatiable appetite of most punters for hurtful gossip.